Easter 2010

What a fun Easter we had this year!!! Maya and Gabriel were so much fun...it did my heart well to see them actually "dig in" and get excited about everything. Children are such a blessing.

I kinda had a neat little thing happen on Easter. I got a text from my special 'little brother,' Uzzie, asking me if our church was on 53rd street. I responded, but after many failed attempts at trying to get him to come to church, I've learned not to get my hopes up. :) So you can imagine how I about fell off my piano bench when I looked up from playing "He Lives" to see Uzzie walking into church with his girlfriend, mom, brother & sister! lol

Now, I'm assuming most of you are aware of everything I went thru with this kid...as well as his mama, Yvonne, and siblings, Allister and Destiny. For those of you who don't--well, you can ask and I'll fill u in. lol But, let me just say that the minute I laid eyes on him, all kinds of emotions hit me at once...sadness, anger, happiness, affection, joy, guilt, curiosity, disappointment, gratitude, rage, worry, anxiety, and peace. It was kinda bittersweet, I guess. And, I won't even begin to write about how weird it is for him to see me...with my Sam, my Maya, and my Gus. Or for Sam...to finally meet this family that was such a huge part of my life and partly responsible for who I am, today.

At one point, he was my priority in life...and my head was instantly flooded with memories...the person I spent HOURS on my knees praying for...the hand I held...the hair I combed...the nails I clipped...the medicine I gave...the washcloths I put on his head...the songs I sang...the food I fed...the walks we took...

I could go on for hours. And then one day, it all came to a halting stop. Nonexistence. A huge piece of my life, my time, my love...completely vanished..all ties and all hearts broken.

And though it felt wonderful to see him and his family, my final feeling as I told him goodbye on Sunday was awesome. I actually felt good about life and where I am right now. It's taken me awhile to get to that point. Six years, to be exact. Six years to stop hurting. Six years to stop wanting revenge. Six years to lose the bitterness and anger and regret. Six years to forgive. Six years...and it wasn't even his fault...but he was in the crossfire.

*big sigh* whew, glad I got that all off my chest. :)

Enjoy the Easter pics. I'll get more on the slideshow asap.

Big Love,

Sarah