Howdy, everyone! Hope this post finds your weekend off to a great start. I must admit that it was a LOOOONNNNGGGGG week! Yet, I know that it seemed so much longer for others.
This life-changing event with the Pearsons has just melted me, and I can't get away from it. I was sick. I had a migraine. I couldn't sleep. And you know what's funny? I couldn't stop praying. It's like I would finish a prayer for her...and I wasn't done. I would wake up at 1:15 and think to myself, "I wonder if Blake & Libby are getting any rest?" I'd wake up again around 1:45 and I would text Sam, "Ugh...I can't sleep." I'd be up again by 2:30...and so I'd pray. And again at 3:30, then at 5:00...and all I could do was pray. I keep a pretty big prayer list, in addition to petitions on behalf of my own family. And usually, after I send Up my needs to Jesus, I'm able to leave them There and wait for His answer. But I couldn't get this family off of my heart. I still can't. I feel like she's a part of us, somehow...or that I've known her mama & daddy for a long time (which I have, but it's not like our relationship goes beyond a mere acquaintance). I've never even seen this baby aside from one time of bumping into her with her mommy & daddy at the grocery store. It's just bizarre how this whole thing has completely drained me...and I'm not even a sister or an aunt or a grandma or a close friend. I can't imagine what it's done to those who are.
I know many of you are feeling the exact same way. I've had text after text after text. "Have you read an update yet?" "Sarah, I want to do something. What can I do?" "I feel sick...there has to be something we can do to help." And, as simple as it may seem, the only answer I can give is, "Just pray. Just fall on your face before Him. Cry. Scream. Beg. Plead. And when you're finished...do it again." I've been asking myself the exact same question and giving myself the exact same answer. And, I think every single pair of pants I wore this week now have smoking holes in the knees...but I still wanted to do more. I still wanted to take action and do something. I think it's just a natural tendency of mine. So along with praying for comfort and peace and healing, I began asking God to show me what I could DO for Blake, Libby and Paxten. And, as always, He was faithful to show me.
This morning I was working on my school assignment and Maya asked for a drink. Of course, I gave her my "give me a second, honey" answer. After the 3rd time she asked, God gently nudged me and said, "Pssst...Libby would probably love to get a drink for Paxten." That was it. I didn't need to hear anymore. I shut my laptop, and I got Maya a drink...for Blake, Libby, & Paxten. I spent time playing in the floor with my sweet babies...for Blake, Libby, & Paxten. I went to my mom's house and basked in the warmth of spending time with my parents, sister, niece, & nephew...for the Teschkes & Pearsons. I spent less time griping about toys on the floor, knots tied in my shoestrings, and shrilling screams of excitement. I spent more time playing on the floor...laughing along with the silliness of Spongebob...enjoying the company of friends...giving tight hugs...giving butterfly kisses...for Blake, Libby, & Paxten.
For those of you who have asked, just do good. And, spend more time with Jesus. I'm sure Pax, her mama, and her daddy would tell you the same.
Keep praying, keep believing.
Sarah
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