Today I'm thankful for the great leaders I've had in my life and the ones whom I still look up to. One of those leaders wrote the words I'm getting ready to type below. Think about them. Think about the people who have been leaders to you...and think about who you are leading at this point in your life. Then, take a deep breath...and be thankful.
Hey, gang -
Things are normal here in Kansas. That means the wind's blowing; but it's out of the South and warm. Slide your cup over here -- I've got some fresh, hot java and a few thoughts to share. It's Green Mountain Vermont Country Blend; you'll like it.
Military service carries with it a bunch of lessons. One is that somewhere, sometime, whether you want to do it or not, you will lead. You may only do it long enough to reassure those leading you that you're better at following than leading. But you'll get your shot.
Life's like that. And here my example breaks down because, unlike military service, life doesn't let you off.
Whether you like it or not, you lead others. Example, speech, opinions, habits -- others watch you and key what they do off what you do.
"Well, I'm not comfortable with that. I mean, with the thought that people watch me sometimes."
I'm going to make you a little more uncomfortable. Somebody's ALWAYS watching, listening. Children see, hear and sense significantly more in their parents than Dad and Mom would ever like knowing. Can't tell you how much fun it is to see scrunchy expressions of horror when I tell adult sons and daughters, "You are frightfully like your parents."
"OH, NO!"
Yep. It's a fact. It's almost the same comical expression of disgust as when they come up short in the middle of a--- "I can't believe I just said that: that sounded just like DAD!"
Parents, your kids learn how to handle stress, anger, despair, grief, elation and joy by spending years observing you. They get their interpersonal skills by watching how you interact with and speak to others -- and between yourselves. They learn how to fight by watching and listening to you do it. They get their laugh, their cry, their belief and disbelief by learning from yours. You don't have to teach them; they're hardwired, created to be just like you.
Same thing's true of friends whom you know and acquaintances you may never have a clue are paying any attention to you. They do, though. They sometimes pay as close attention to you as your own kids did. You are someone in whom they see value and they attach themselves for whatever reason to you. Again, you don't have to teach them. Most of the time you're clueless that they're even wired for sound -- but their intensity as they learn from you can be intimidating. If you knew it was aimed at you.
LEAD OR FOLLOW A LEADER.
What I just told you applies to you, too. We were not created to solitude. It's a human thing to seek out others who for whatever reason impress us and sift through their ideas, habits, notions, opinions, speech, and even personal mannerisms after which to pattern our own.
Since neither of us can do a thing about that, it just makes sense: understand that you have others, seen and unseen, watching and listening to you. Be, then, the kind of leader for them who will not lead them anywhere but toward personal and spiritual excellence. Understand that even when you believe you're alone, you're never off-duty. The things you do, think, imagine and say when you're alone coalesce into the things you'll do, think, imagine and say when in a crowd. Say and do it enough privately, and you'll be saying and doing it plenty in public. And often you don't even know you're doing and saying it.
This week's challenge? Remind yourself often: "Somebody's watching my lead. I need to be careful who I'm following, whose thoughts, opinions, speech and actions I'm allowing to influence my own -- because others, in turn, are using my pattern to design theirs." It's true, you know: you also develop your style of leading others by how you watch YOUR leader's style of leading you. Yes, you ultimately choose how you will lead others. But it is impossible not to spend years around someone without unconsciously taking on their attributes -- good, bad and ugly. Hey -- there's that theme song again...you hear it, too?
One of the most influential writers in my life is former UN Secretary-General and Nobel Laureate Dag Hammarskjold. He wrote: "If only I may grow: firmer, simpler, -- quieter, warmer."
Wow. That shines. I don't want brittle, unkind, sharp-edged stuff in my living or in my thoughts and words. I, too, wish to be firmer where I must take an unyielding and principled stand -- even if I must stand alone. To be simpler, without succumbing to the incessant barrage of this or that trinket or faddish whim. To be quieter and at peace amid the encrusted din of senseless noise. And to be warmer, authentic and real, even while encircled by the cold, austere balefulness of professional tolerance masquerading as love.
One more, saving the best for last. Writing to some confused, cosmopolitan Green Christ-followers, Paul just said, "Follow my example as I follow the example of Christ." Okay, yeah. That cuts through a whole rash of the nattering of theotwigs. If you can see and sense Jesus in me, follow my lead. If you can't, don't. The ultimate Leader is Jesus himself. And since He left this thing of influencing our world in all the right ways for Him, and in His place, then it just makes sense to keep it as simple as did Paul.
LEAD OR FOLLOW A LEADER. And, preferably, make sure the leader you're following follows THE Leader. That way those following YOUR lead won't be misled.
One more: What a man is contributes much more to his happiness than what he has, or how he is regarded by others. -- Arthur Schopenhauer
Be working on your 'is.' People are watching you.
I don't know about you, but I have a LOT of work to do...thanks, Dan!!
~Sarah
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