7.31.2011
7.28.2011
Thankful Thursday
Today I'm thankful for all of my sweet babies! AND...I'm thankful that the handsome boy you see in these pictures is SMILING, despite the fact that he had a broken arm - and hadn't even taken him to have it checked out yet. (Yes, I know...I felt like the worst mother in the world when I learned I made him sit through family pictures with a broken arm!)I'm so thankful for the time we have had with the girls. We always have our "rough" days, but we have far more fabulous days. And, when it's time for them to leave, our hearts are heavy.
I've been jumping through hoops this morning, dealing with the Immediate Care Center, an INCREDIBLE orthopaedic doc, Gabriel's pediatrician, 2 receptionists, and 2 nurses. As much of a pain in the caboose as it seems right now, I am thankful for insurance. We will be going to a different orthopaedic doc this afternoon to get his arm casted. He's been a tough little boy, that's for sure!
Until next time, enjoy some pics from yesterday...and be thankful for something today. :)
xoxo,
Sarah
7.26.2011
7.21.2011
The Next Wife Stepmom
"Don't tell me to relax - my tension is the only thing holding me together right now."
Ever felt like that? :) I know you didn't ask me how I'm doing, today...and if you don't wanna know, please feel free to stop reading here. I'm warning you now, this may be a long post.
I've never been a bad person. In fact, my closest relatives have always said I have a kind heart. I once overheard my mom say, "Sarah is the most compassionate person I have ever known." Okay, so that doesn't count...after all, she IS my mother. :) So how about this: "Class of 2000 Best Personality: Sarah Victory." That has to have a little bit of validation to it, right? I mean, I did spend over a decade of time with those voters. ;)
Anyway, by now you're probably thinking, "Well, okay, Sarah--your personality rocks, but how about some humility?" lol...I apologize if you find this to be a little too self-focused for your liking; I feel that way, too. But it will help me get to my next point.
So I've always been a good girl. Never caused a bit of uproar for my parents (until I was well into my twenties, and even then, I took responsibility for my own actions), and always tried to offer forgiveness rather than seek revenge. I've made effort to be a sincere human being, considerate of others. I guess you can say I'm a Golden Rule follower.
Unfortunately, that image crumbled when I chose to marry a man with a past. It's not a surprise to anyone that Sam was married before I came into his life. And with that, in this "next wife's" eyes, trails an ex-life beside him. With that realization, I'm not the compassionate, best personality winner. Instead, I'm a harbor of contempt and acerbity.
I know some would be completely shocked at my admittance of my struggle with this. Heck, I shock myself just thinkin' about it...where in the world did these feelings come from?! Yes, you're right...I knew going into this that another person shared my husband's life before me...but that's not to say it's a simple fact to accept. Some days, it's really hard for me to accept that I'm "the next wife." Other days, I couldn't care less, and my attitude is typical of "Sarah." But on those "next wife" days, I am one ugly person. But I will call on God, and He will rescue me. Morning, noon, and night, I cry out in distress, and He hears my voice. (Psalm 55:6-17)
Life is so full of learning, isn't it? Some lessons are a little more difficult to swallow than others. Regardless, I'm doing my best to stop questioning my faith and start relying on it, instead. I would like to challenge you to do the same - and if you already do it, start praying for the rest of us who may be struggling.
xoxo,
Sarah
Hey, God~
Are you sick of me, yet? lol I hope not. I need You and want You...to reign in me, to breathe in me, to saturate my soul with Your love. These past few weeks have been a challenge for me, for my attitude, for my desires, for my marriage, even for my relationship with You. I don't even want to think of where I would be without You. Thanks for being my Rock. Please help me to remember that You are in charge, and You are walking right next to me every step of this journey. You know my struggles. Help me to endure another woman having legitimate access to Sam's time and attention. I am expected to graciously overlook his family members and acquaintances making references to her. I am expected to be okay with my in-laws referring to themselves as "Gram & Pap" to her child by another man, yet never even meeting their "real" grandchild. Hold my tongue. I am expected to be the adult and remember that those sweet girls will forever be adjusting to the trauma of their parents' divorce. Give me the patience of a saint. She seldom, if ever, has to deal with me - yet, I have to be okay with her calling Sam regularly - at work or whenever is convenient for her - to discuss children that are theirs together. Keep me cool, Jesus. I am expected to be okay with settling for less. But, I'm not. I'm not okay with this, at all. Give me the strength of an elephant and the skin of a rhinocerous, even when the words from a child's mouth pierce me. Let me be confident in my knowledge that children have an unlimited supply of love to give. Help me in the constant struggle to find my role in their lives, somewhere "below" a parent but "above" a family friend - every 11 months. If someone refers to them as my children or to me as their mother, guide me...I don't want to overstep my bounds by remaining silent, nor do I want to disown them by correcting the assumptions. Lead me from the temptation of spoiling them in vain hope that they will accept me and not resent my presence. Give me the ability to anticipate all potential problems and to accept the fact that I will most likely be the one to blame. Help me to forget that in spite of devoting my time, home, money, stress, and energy required in raising them (even though they aren't present for 11 months of the year) that I will not shop for prom dresses or be the mother of the bride. Remind me that maybe, someday, they will give me a second thought and remember something positive from their summers in Kansas. Let them gain something from having to "put up" with this "wicked stepmother," no matter how small or insignificant, and let something, anything I did, make them each a better person, whether they realize it or not. God, bring back the faith I claimed and felt before I became a "next wife" and stepmom. I need it, and my own babies deserve it. I'm trusting You. ttys
Ever felt like that? :) I know you didn't ask me how I'm doing, today...and if you don't wanna know, please feel free to stop reading here. I'm warning you now, this may be a long post.
I've never been a bad person. In fact, my closest relatives have always said I have a kind heart. I once overheard my mom say, "Sarah is the most compassionate person I have ever known." Okay, so that doesn't count...after all, she IS my mother. :) So how about this: "Class of 2000 Best Personality: Sarah Victory." That has to have a little bit of validation to it, right? I mean, I did spend over a decade of time with those voters. ;)
Anyway, by now you're probably thinking, "Well, okay, Sarah--your personality rocks, but how about some humility?" lol...I apologize if you find this to be a little too self-focused for your liking; I feel that way, too. But it will help me get to my next point.
So I've always been a good girl. Never caused a bit of uproar for my parents (until I was well into my twenties, and even then, I took responsibility for my own actions), and always tried to offer forgiveness rather than seek revenge. I've made effort to be a sincere human being, considerate of others. I guess you can say I'm a Golden Rule follower.
Unfortunately, that image crumbled when I chose to marry a man with a past. It's not a surprise to anyone that Sam was married before I came into his life. And with that, in this "next wife's" eyes, trails an ex-life beside him. With that realization, I'm not the compassionate, best personality winner. Instead, I'm a harbor of contempt and acerbity.
I know some would be completely shocked at my admittance of my struggle with this. Heck, I shock myself just thinkin' about it...where in the world did these feelings come from?! Yes, you're right...I knew going into this that another person shared my husband's life before me...but that's not to say it's a simple fact to accept. Some days, it's really hard for me to accept that I'm "the next wife." Other days, I couldn't care less, and my attitude is typical of "Sarah." But on those "next wife" days, I am one ugly person. But I will call on God, and He will rescue me. Morning, noon, and night, I cry out in distress, and He hears my voice. (Psalm 55:6-17)
Life is so full of learning, isn't it? Some lessons are a little more difficult to swallow than others. Regardless, I'm doing my best to stop questioning my faith and start relying on it, instead. I would like to challenge you to do the same - and if you already do it, start praying for the rest of us who may be struggling.
xoxo,
Sarah
Hey, God~
Are you sick of me, yet? lol I hope not. I need You and want You...to reign in me, to breathe in me, to saturate my soul with Your love. These past few weeks have been a challenge for me, for my attitude, for my desires, for my marriage, even for my relationship with You. I don't even want to think of where I would be without You. Thanks for being my Rock. Please help me to remember that You are in charge, and You are walking right next to me every step of this journey. You know my struggles. Help me to endure another woman having legitimate access to Sam's time and attention. I am expected to graciously overlook his family members and acquaintances making references to her. I am expected to be okay with my in-laws referring to themselves as "Gram & Pap" to her child by another man, yet never even meeting their "real" grandchild. Hold my tongue. I am expected to be the adult and remember that those sweet girls will forever be adjusting to the trauma of their parents' divorce. Give me the patience of a saint. She seldom, if ever, has to deal with me - yet, I have to be okay with her calling Sam regularly - at work or whenever is convenient for her - to discuss children that are theirs together. Keep me cool, Jesus. I am expected to be okay with settling for less. But, I'm not. I'm not okay with this, at all. Give me the strength of an elephant and the skin of a rhinocerous, even when the words from a child's mouth pierce me. Let me be confident in my knowledge that children have an unlimited supply of love to give. Help me in the constant struggle to find my role in their lives, somewhere "below" a parent but "above" a family friend - every 11 months. If someone refers to them as my children or to me as their mother, guide me...I don't want to overstep my bounds by remaining silent, nor do I want to disown them by correcting the assumptions. Lead me from the temptation of spoiling them in vain hope that they will accept me and not resent my presence. Give me the ability to anticipate all potential problems and to accept the fact that I will most likely be the one to blame. Help me to forget that in spite of devoting my time, home, money, stress, and energy required in raising them (even though they aren't present for 11 months of the year) that I will not shop for prom dresses or be the mother of the bride. Remind me that maybe, someday, they will give me a second thought and remember something positive from their summers in Kansas. Let them gain something from having to "put up" with this "wicked stepmother," no matter how small or insignificant, and let something, anything I did, make them each a better person, whether they realize it or not. God, bring back the faith I claimed and felt before I became a "next wife" and stepmom. I need it, and my own babies deserve it. I'm trusting You. ttys
Thankful Thursday
Today, as difficult as it may be, I'm thankful for my role as a stepmom. In the midst of my stress and frustration, I have observed other blended families, and it strikes me funny that almost every other family I look at seems to have no issues, whatsoever. They all get along...they all like each other. And when I ask them how they do it, my first thought that follows their response is..."I've tried that...why didn't it work for me?!" So I proceed with asking for suggestions...and it seems like again, I get the same reply, "Well...I don't know, Sarah. Your situation is so different..."
Believe me, I know. I know it's different.
So, I've resulted to prayer. I'm not sure where else to seek advice. But, I am sure that I am a better stepmom this year than I was last year. And, I am sure that I will be even better next year. I ask you to join me. Please keep our gang in your prayers, too - each one of us are affected in a different way. Sam gets to struggle with overcompensating for the lack of male interaction with the twins while not ignoring the constant needs of Maya & Gus. Claudia and Camile get to struggle with adjusting to "Kansas" house rules, sharing their Daddy with 2 younger, demanding toddlers, living with a stepmom who isn't exactly what they're used to (especially when it comes to sewing - their little minds just can NOT grasp the idea that I have no clue how to sew lol), missing their mama, being homesick, and knowing they will be saying goodbye to their Dad for another year in just a short week. And Maya & Gus are...Maya & Gus. They are learning to share their space, their toys, their food, their Daddy...and they're doing exceptionally well, considering the circumstances. I'm predicting that my biggest issues with them will occur in trying to adjust back to "normal" once the girls are gone back to PA. In fact, Maya has already shed tears over the thought of her "sissies" leaving.
*sigh* deeeeeep breath.
What are you thankful for, today?
xoxo,
Sarah
Believe me, I know. I know it's different.
So, I've resulted to prayer. I'm not sure where else to seek advice. But, I am sure that I am a better stepmom this year than I was last year. And, I am sure that I will be even better next year. I ask you to join me. Please keep our gang in your prayers, too - each one of us are affected in a different way. Sam gets to struggle with overcompensating for the lack of male interaction with the twins while not ignoring the constant needs of Maya & Gus. Claudia and Camile get to struggle with adjusting to "Kansas" house rules, sharing their Daddy with 2 younger, demanding toddlers, living with a stepmom who isn't exactly what they're used to (especially when it comes to sewing - their little minds just can NOT grasp the idea that I have no clue how to sew lol), missing their mama, being homesick, and knowing they will be saying goodbye to their Dad for another year in just a short week. And Maya & Gus are...Maya & Gus. They are learning to share their space, their toys, their food, their Daddy...and they're doing exceptionally well, considering the circumstances. I'm predicting that my biggest issues with them will occur in trying to adjust back to "normal" once the girls are gone back to PA. In fact, Maya has already shed tears over the thought of her "sissies" leaving.
*sigh* deeeeeep breath.
What are you thankful for, today?
xoxo,
Sarah
7.06.2011
Wise Words
I've been hurt by people. So have you. Worse yet, I've hurt others. So have you. This week has been a little heavy - I know for a fact that I hurt someone. Although my direct intent was to spare the person from what I thought was a cumbersome load, I ended up making someone feel unwanted. Being aware of hurting someone is never easy for me to digest, and I hope it never is.
So I move on with saying this: It does no good to hold anger or carry grudges. Period. Let me say that again so it can soak in a little more...
It does no good to hold anger or carry grudges.
Unless you want to become bitter, get eaten alive, and do more harm to yourself than the object of your anger, then by all means, be angry and don't let go. Otherwise, breathe deep and love much.
"Defuse it. Especially with family. In our culture, we ask forgiveness from everyone - even casual acquaintances. But with those we are closest with - spouses, children, parents - we too often let things linger. Don't wait. It's such a waste."
Don't wait.
xoxo,
Sarah
*Heads up - I will be leaving town tomorrow. When I return, I will have my hands full with 4 Shaffer kids. :) I will get pics up by Monday, hopefully. Have a great weekend - and don't forget to be thankful tomorrow! :)
So I move on with saying this: It does no good to hold anger or carry grudges. Period. Let me say that again so it can soak in a little more...
It does no good to hold anger or carry grudges.
Unless you want to become bitter, get eaten alive, and do more harm to yourself than the object of your anger, then by all means, be angry and don't let go. Otherwise, breathe deep and love much.
"Defuse it. Especially with family. In our culture, we ask forgiveness from everyone - even casual acquaintances. But with those we are closest with - spouses, children, parents - we too often let things linger. Don't wait. It's such a waste."
Don't wait.
xoxo,
Sarah
*Heads up - I will be leaving town tomorrow. When I return, I will have my hands full with 4 Shaffer kids. :) I will get pics up by Monday, hopefully. Have a great weekend - and don't forget to be thankful tomorrow! :)
7.04.2011
Glorious Freedom!
Once I was bound by sin's galling fetters,
Chained like a slave, I struggled in vain,
But I received a glorious freedom,
When Jesus broke my fetters in twain!
Freedom from all the carnal affections,
Freedom from envy, hatred, and strife
Freedom from vain and worldly ambitions,
Freedom from all that saddens my life!
Freedom from pride and all sinful follies,
Freedom from love and glitter of gold,
Freedom from evil temper and anger,
Glorious freedom, rapture untold!
Freedom from fear with all of its torments,
Freedom from care with all of its pain,
Freedom in Christ, my blessed Redeemer,
He who has rent my fetters in twain!
GLORIOUS FREEDOM! WONDERFUL FREEDOM!
NO MORE IN CHAINS OF SIN I REPINE,
JESUS, THE GLORIOUS EMANCIPATOR,
NOW AND FOREVER, HE SHALL BE MINE!
xoxo,
Sarah
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