I've really gotten into watching Tyler Perry movies, lately. His shows are quickly climbing to the top 10 of Sarah's favs.
I got an email yesterday from a dear friend, and it made me think of another dear friend, and then another dear friend, and then...people just kept coming to mind. So, I think this is post-worthy. Those of you who don't have anyone to forgive - read it anyway. Soak it in. At the very least, it's some good material to file away.
And my dear friend - thank you for faithfully sharing. You're more help than you know to your 'little sis'! :)
If you know anything about Tyler Perry, you know his consistent message in every play and movie surrounds this issue of forgiveness. He openly tells anyone listening/watching that forgiveness is not for others; it's for you, for your freedom, your internal healing. He's right. If you wrestle with this thing of forgiveness, please thoughtfully absorb the following. Then make that call. Get a quick personal FB message out. Get that email written. Send that card. Know what is usually the case? The other person or persons are just as desirous of restoring your friendship as you are - and just as afraid of making the first move.
I've been asked, "Well, what if that other person/persons don't want to reconcile?" Remember: forgiveness is not for the other person: it's for you. It restores your own soul and helps you be a better friend. You make the effort and leave it there. God will deal with others just as He deals with you. You be faithful to what He talks to you about.
I've also been asked, "What if the person I've never let up, never forgiven is dead?" Take a moment and ask God for HIS forgiveness in your putting YOUR forgiveness off until it was too late. If you mean it, He always forgives. Then look into your heart and find the next person whose name appears under your UNFORGIVEN list. (How did I know there were more than one? That's the nature of unforgiveness; it becomes a habit.) Then make that call. Get a quick...well, you get the idea. Unforgiveness is a self-administered poison. Get rid of it.
An excerpt from
May You Be Blessed
by Kate Novak
Just beyond our yard fence is a cleared field edged by dark woods. I can see this field from my study window, and often while seated at my desk, will catch some motion out of the corner of my eye, only to look out the window just in time to see deer moving from the woods into the sunny openness of the field. Heads held high, nostrils testing the air, ears keen to every sound and muscles tensed, these beautiful animals approach the field warily, even the lure of sweet, lush grass unable to override their sense of caution.
While watching the deer one day, it occurred to me that we humans behave much the same way when first we consider forgiving those who have hurt us. Like the deer, we approach with great caution, certain that in deciding to let go of our pain we are putting ourselves at risk. It is our hunger for peace and happiness, however, that beckons us, pulling us past our wariness, into the bright, warm light of this field of love.
As we venture forth into the forgiveness field we begin to understand that forgiving is not something we do for someone else, but a gift we give ourselves. We realized almost immediately that the field is not as fraught with danger as we had feared, not as filled with complexities as we had assumed. It is, instead, simplicity itself, as simple as stepping first from darkness into dappled shade, and from there into the light of a bright new day.
If the deer never emerged from the dark woods into the bright openness of the field, they might survive, but they would have to adapt to do so. We also adapt when we refuse to come out of the darkness of pain and fear and into the light of love. We harden and become bitter, as inwardly we adjust to the futility of our thinking. The longer we cling to our fears and our hatreds, the more heavy and out of balance we feel. It is only in letting go that we return to the center.
We each have our own reasons for not forgiving those who have hurt us. And many times the reasons seem so valid, so totally understandable that the entire world rallies around us and supports us in our unwillingness to forgive. In truth, however, unforgiveness can never be validated because it keeps us from the light. And since light is what we are made of, it is, in essence, keeping us from ourselves.
Forgiving is not as difficult as most would think. It is as much an act of the imagination as it is anything. It dares us to think of a brighter future, one where no boundaries of right and wrong exist, but only openness and the freedom to be who we truly are. Perhaps most importantly though, it allows us to go to a place in our hearts where pain and suffering are no longer allowed to have the final word.
May you always be willing to step from the darkness of fear into the field of light that is forgiveness.
I hope you got something from this. I believe there is some serious power in what this says.
Chew on it.
xoxo,
Sarah
