In Five Years...

It's only by the grace of God and love in ALL its dimensions that we celebrated our fifth anniversary of marriage yesterday. Sam, thank you for everything. For the gifts, for my awesome dinner, and for a much needed funny movie! :)

Let's face it: Sam and I have experienced more craziness in a short timespan of five years than most couples experience in a decade. From April to December of 2006, yes - 8 months, we met, moved, changed jobs, married, and had a baby. (And yes, we're well aware we brought those circumstances in the aforementioned timespan upon ourselves.) But, that's not the end.

In addition, Sam suffered:

• a family who hated him (mine),


• a family who couldn't care less about him (his),


• a split of 2 girls who desperately needed him versus a new wife & baby,


• a wife who was unsure of him,


• church leadership who accused him and beat him (spiritually),


• and much more that should never be mentioned on the world wide web.

Sam was called every derogatory name imagineable. He had a mad, mama gorilla's fist in his face. He was mocked. He was scoffed at and SCREAMED at. He was blamed of crime, even. He was emotionally beaten, again and again and again and again. On Labor Day weekend of 2006, a few weeks AFTER we married (yes, bitterness takes a LONG, LONG time to dissolve but I'm working on it), Sam found himself standing by my side as I gave a public apology to my entire church congregation.

And, you know what he did? He didn't leave me. He didn't pack his bags and go back to his sweet girls who lovingly awaited him in Pennsylvania, a quiet place where he didn't have to be treated like an animal. A place where his church family cared for him and loved him for who he was.

He didn't run away and laugh at the nonsense of everything (which is exactly what I would have done in his shoes). Sam stepped up to the mic and gave an apology, too. He took the high road.And, then...just as I had been taught my entire life, everyone forgave us and loved us and supported us because that's what Christians do...

NOT.

Nope, that didn't happen. He continued to be bashed and beaten and ridiculed. It never stopped. To this day, the pokes, the punches, and the jabs still come. And they still hurt. And Sam endures it, every single time. You think he kinda loves me? You bet he does.

Have Sam & I made mistakes? You bet. Did we bring most of the stress on ourselves? That's debatable. ;) Has Sam had every reason under the sun to tuck his tail and run? Yes. Have I thought that Sam's life could be much happier without myself in it? Yes. So what has held us together for 5 years??? A covenant. We made a covenant on August 12, 2006 to stick together. When I don't feel like loving him, or he doesn't feel like loving me, when I'm sick or when he's sick, when it's payday or when we're broke, we are in this together. Leaving isn't an option.

Hey, God~I don't even know where to begin...I guess I'll start with saying I'm forever grateful for Your covenants. I'm thankful that I serve a God who believes covenants are important. I'm thankful that You believe covenants are to be honored. I'm thankful that when my marriage hits a rough spot and needs a little rebuilding that I can simply whisper Your name to rebuild my home. Please continue to help us overcome our struggles. Speak to those in our lives who can be so harsh, and supply them with patience and forgiveness. And, no matter what words are spoken or what things are done, bring us closer together with You in the middle. We love You. We are excited for the next five years of this awesome journey you have assigned to only us. We want to serve You, together and raise our sweet babies to know Your love. Guide us, every step of the way, and help us to always remember that You have our backs. ;) Talk to you in a bit...

xoxo,

Sarah