Howdy, everyone! Hope this post finds your weekend off to a great start. I must admit that it was a LOOOONNNNGGGGG week! Yet, I know that it seemed so much longer for others.
This life-changing event with the Pearsons has just melted me, and I can't get away from it. I was sick. I had a migraine. I couldn't sleep. And you know what's funny? I couldn't stop praying. It's like I would finish a prayer for her...and I wasn't done. I would wake up at 1:15 and think to myself, "I wonder if Blake & Libby are getting any rest?" I'd wake up again around 1:45 and I would text Sam, "Ugh...I can't sleep." I'd be up again by 2:30...and so I'd pray. And again at 3:30, then at 5:00...and all I could do was pray. I keep a pretty big prayer list, in addition to petitions on behalf of my own family. And usually, after I send Up my needs to Jesus, I'm able to leave them There and wait for His answer. But I couldn't get this family off of my heart. I still can't. I feel like she's a part of us, somehow...or that I've known her mama & daddy for a long time (which I have, but it's not like our relationship goes beyond a mere acquaintance). I've never even seen this baby aside from one time of bumping into her with her mommy & daddy at the grocery store. It's just bizarre how this whole thing has completely drained me...and I'm not even a sister or an aunt or a grandma or a close friend. I can't imagine what it's done to those who are.
I know many of you are feeling the exact same way. I've had text after text after text. "Have you read an update yet?" "Sarah, I want to do something. What can I do?" "I feel sick...there has to be something we can do to help." And, as simple as it may seem, the only answer I can give is, "Just pray. Just fall on your face before Him. Cry. Scream. Beg. Plead. And when you're finished...do it again." I've been asking myself the exact same question and giving myself the exact same answer. And, I think every single pair of pants I wore this week now have smoking holes in the knees...but I still wanted to do more. I still wanted to take action and do something. I think it's just a natural tendency of mine. So along with praying for comfort and peace and healing, I began asking God to show me what I could DO for Blake, Libby and Paxten. And, as always, He was faithful to show me.
This morning I was working on my school assignment and Maya asked for a drink. Of course, I gave her my "give me a second, honey" answer. After the 3rd time she asked, God gently nudged me and said, "Pssst...Libby would probably love to get a drink for Paxten." That was it. I didn't need to hear anymore. I shut my laptop, and I got Maya a drink...for Blake, Libby, & Paxten. I spent time playing in the floor with my sweet babies...for Blake, Libby, & Paxten. I went to my mom's house and basked in the warmth of spending time with my parents, sister, niece, & nephew...for the Teschkes & Pearsons. I spent less time griping about toys on the floor, knots tied in my shoestrings, and shrilling screams of excitement. I spent more time playing on the floor...laughing along with the silliness of Spongebob...enjoying the company of friends...giving tight hugs...giving butterfly kisses...for Blake, Libby, & Paxten.
For those of you who have asked, just do good. And, spend more time with Jesus. I'm sure Pax, her mama, and her daddy would tell you the same.
Keep praying, keep believing.
Sarah
1.14.2012
1.12.2012
Little Light by Audrey Assad
~for two sweet, baby girls, Paxten & Kate.
Look at all the angels watching you
They're singing songs that we have never heard
Their voices ring like bells over the mountains
Oh, if only we could hear their words
God is near, little girl.
Your eyes are brilliant, deep sky blue
Your quiet wisdom is an evening song
The angels must be breathless at your beauty
Like the world catches its breath before the dawn
God is near, little one.
And Jesus bends to hear you breathe
His tender hands are holding you tonight
His heart is ravished when you look at Him
And oh, the endless mercy in His eyes
God is here, little light.
Look at all the angels watching you
They're singing songs that we have never heard
Their voices ring like bells over the mountains
Oh, if only we could hear their words
God is near, little girl.
Your eyes are brilliant, deep sky blue
Your quiet wisdom is an evening song
The angels must be breathless at your beauty
Like the world catches its breath before the dawn
God is near, little one.
And Jesus bends to hear you breathe
His tender hands are holding you tonight
His heart is ravished when you look at Him
And oh, the endless mercy in His eyes
God is here, little light.
Thankful Thursday
Today I am thankful. No, really. I am so grateful for every breath that God allows me to take.
- I'm thankful for my healthy babies.
- I'm thankful for my healthy husband. Healthy parents. Healthy sister. Healthy niece, nephew, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
- I'm thankful that Grandma Luna felt well enough to go get her hair done this week!
- I'm thankful that Papa's surgery went well on Monday, and he was up and smiling last night.
- I'm thankful that last January, when GGV's health began to decline, I was able to be there in the evenings, tuck her in bed and kiss her goodnight.
- I'm thankful for medicine and doctors.
- I'm thankful for nurses...who clean the messes and give the sponge baths.
- I'm thankful for every day -- a clean slate, a new start, a gift of 24 hours.
Be thankful,
Sarah
1.10.2012
PLEASE, GOD, PLEASE!!!
The news is grim. My stomach is churning and the lump in my throat feels as if it's there to stay. I don't know much, but I do know that this picture made me want to vomit. And then, it brought back my memories of a miracle I witnessed first-hand with a situation very similar to Paxten's.
It was Christmas 2003. Our sweet Uzzie had been through the same process. A diagnosis of leukemia...countless rounds of chemo...the great news of remission...the devastation of a relapse...a bone marrow transplant. The fevers heightened. Our hearts broke. The prayer chains began. I begged for a miracle...and when we were too weary to beg, there were thousands of people standing in the gap for us...begging for a miracle. 
We kept begging...and begging...against the odds...we kept begging...
The nurse brought me a card with a funeral home who was willing to provide low-cost services. She instructed me to start making plans. But I had to stay focused...and we kept begging. You will notice in this pic that Uzzie's stomach was bloated as if he was 9 months pregnant. His entire body was nothing but a pool of blood on the inside. The cooling blanket was there to help bring down a 106.8 fever. I was there to witness a miracle. And Jesus was there to perform it.
Guys, DON'T GIVE UP. KEEP PRAYING. PRAY AGAIN. AND PRAY SOME MORE. We serve an AWESOME GOD. DO NOT. GIVE. UP.
It was Christmas 2003. Our sweet Uzzie had been through the same process. A diagnosis of leukemia...countless rounds of chemo...the great news of remission...the devastation of a relapse...a bone marrow transplant. The fevers heightened. Our hearts broke. The prayer chains began. I begged for a miracle...and when we were too weary to beg, there were thousands of people standing in the gap for us...begging for a miracle. We kept begging...and begging...against the odds...we kept begging...The nurse brought me a card with a funeral home who was willing to provide low-cost services. She instructed me to start making plans. But I had to stay focused...and we kept begging. You will notice in this pic that Uzzie's stomach was bloated as if he was 9 months pregnant. His entire body was nothing but a pool of blood on the inside. The cooling blanket was there to help bring down a 106.8 fever. I was there to witness a miracle. And Jesus was there to perform it.Today, Uzzie is a HEALED, handsome young man with a story to rock this world.
Guys, DON'T GIVE UP. KEEP PRAYING. PRAY AGAIN. AND PRAY SOME MORE. We serve an AWESOME GOD. DO NOT. GIVE. UP.
Jesus, we need You!!! Our hearts are completely crushed. We need to see a miracle. Oh, please dear God! Use the doctors. Use the medicine. Use whatever is necessary to carry out Your plan for Paxten. We're watching. We're waiting. We're ready. Oh, PLEASE, SWEET JESUS!!! May her body rest as the oscillator does its job. Keep her other organs healthy. Protect her kidneys as this night draws in. GOD, HOLD BLAKE AND LIBBY IN YOUR STRONG LOVING ARMS. MAY THEY FIND PEACE AND COMFORT SOLELY IN YOU.
1.09.2012
P.U.S.H.ing for Paxten
Hey, God. I'm coming to You this evening with a heavy heart. I've had two days full of tears. Overwhelmed. Stressed out. Angry. Offended. Sad. But everything was put into perspective when I read the update on this sweet, tiny, innocent, baby girl. Everything that has been overwhelming, stressing, anger-provoking, offensive, and sad to me completely pales in comparison to this sick little girl who is fighting for every breath she takes. The hurtful comments from a friend? Trivial. The complainer at church? Insignificant. The professional evaluation meeting at work? Meaningless. God, forgive me for losing sight of what really matters and for getting so caught up in the meager happenings in my life. And thank you for reminding me that I have so much to be grateful for at this very moment.
God, we've read the stories. We know that great crowds came to You, bringing the lame, the crippled, the diseased, the blind, and those who couldn't even speak. We know that these people were real. They were lifted to You in prayer, and laid at Your feet. And You healed them. The speechless spoke. You made the crippled strong. You made the lame to walk and the blind to see. So right now, we place this sweet baby girl at Your feet. Touch her body. Remove the infections. In the awesome and powerful name of Jesus, we command the disease to go. She is Your child, and this sickness has no hold on her. We know and we believe that the power of our prayers do not depend on those of us praying. That power comes from none other than You. Right now, there are thousands of cries going out to You on behalf of Paxten Pearson, and we are leaving her at Your feet. We know that it's Your job to fight, and it's our job to simply trust in You.
Father, comfort her heartbroken and weary mama and daddy. May Blake and Libby be given some word, some verse, or some thought that will remind them You are right there. You're not 5,000 miles away. You are right there. You're not waiting for them to get through this on their own and make it back to Valley Center, Kansas. You're not down the hallway or on the other side of the door. YOU'RE RIGHT THERE WITH THEM. Remind them that the same voice that stilled the rage on the Sea of Galilee can still the rage in their baby girl's body. As they become tired and fragile, assure them that there are warriors out here who are faithfully lifting them up, and they are covered in prayer from head to toe. May they feel Your presence and truly know that You are closer than they've ever dreamed.
And as for all of us? No, we aren't going anywhere. You have our full attention. So we'll keep praying and trusting in Your powerful name to heal sweet Paxten. Thank you, Jesus, for this privilege we have of coming to You at any time and knowing You hear every cry. We love You, and all glory goes to You. Amen.
God, we've read the stories. We know that great crowds came to You, bringing the lame, the crippled, the diseased, the blind, and those who couldn't even speak. We know that these people were real. They were lifted to You in prayer, and laid at Your feet. And You healed them. The speechless spoke. You made the crippled strong. You made the lame to walk and the blind to see. So right now, we place this sweet baby girl at Your feet. Touch her body. Remove the infections. In the awesome and powerful name of Jesus, we command the disease to go. She is Your child, and this sickness has no hold on her. We know and we believe that the power of our prayers do not depend on those of us praying. That power comes from none other than You. Right now, there are thousands of cries going out to You on behalf of Paxten Pearson, and we are leaving her at Your feet. We know that it's Your job to fight, and it's our job to simply trust in You.
Father, comfort her heartbroken and weary mama and daddy. May Blake and Libby be given some word, some verse, or some thought that will remind them You are right there. You're not 5,000 miles away. You are right there. You're not waiting for them to get through this on their own and make it back to Valley Center, Kansas. You're not down the hallway or on the other side of the door. YOU'RE RIGHT THERE WITH THEM. Remind them that the same voice that stilled the rage on the Sea of Galilee can still the rage in their baby girl's body. As they become tired and fragile, assure them that there are warriors out here who are faithfully lifting them up, and they are covered in prayer from head to toe. May they feel Your presence and truly know that You are closer than they've ever dreamed.
And as for all of us? No, we aren't going anywhere. You have our full attention. So we'll keep praying and trusting in Your powerful name to heal sweet Paxten. Thank you, Jesus, for this privilege we have of coming to You at any time and knowing You hear every cry. We love You, and all glory goes to You. Amen.
1.07.2012
A Typical Saturday Morning
Dressed for the day...and SO excited to wear her birthday boots!!!
Gabriel, Molly, & Maya walking to Nana's for breakfast
Nana & Dominic discussing the day's events
The new Richard Simmons ;)
Someone lost a tooth yesterday and was super excited about the gummies left under his pillow!!!
What's more fun than playing Pop the Pig with Papa?
Yep. A slow-paced, beautiful Saturday morning. THAT'S my kind of Saturday. :)
xoxo,
Sarah
1.04.2012
2011: The End.
To my family & friends who are so patient -- you rock. Sorry it has taken me way too long to get these posted. The holidays were here, Maya's birthday was here, the New Year entered, and I'm still not sure where 2011 went. Hopefully these sweet faces will make up for my delayed timing. ;)
xoxo,
Sarah
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)