Thankful Thursday

Today I'm thankful for the great leaders I've had in my life and the ones whom I still look up to. One of those leaders wrote the words I'm getting ready to type below. Think about them. Think about the people who have been leaders to you...and think about who you are leading at this point in your life. Then, take a deep breath...and be thankful.

Hey, gang -
Things are normal here in Kansas. That means the wind's blowing; but it's out of the South and warm. Slide your cup over here -- I've got some fresh, hot java and a few thoughts to share. It's Green Mountain Vermont Country Blend; you'll like it.

Military service carries with it a bunch of lessons. One is that somewhere, sometime, whether you want to do it or not, you will lead. You may only do it long enough to reassure those leading you that you're better at following than leading. But you'll get your shot.

Life's like that. And here my example breaks down because, unlike military service, life doesn't let you off.

Whether you like it or not, you lead others. Example, speech, opinions, habits -- others watch you and key what they do off what you do.

"Well, I'm not comfortable with that. I mean, with the thought that people watch me sometimes."

I'm going to make you a little more uncomfortable. Somebody's ALWAYS watching, listening. Children see, hear and sense significantly more in their parents than Dad and Mom would ever like knowing. Can't tell you how much fun it is to see scrunchy expressions of horror when I tell adult sons and daughters, "You are frightfully like your parents."

"OH, NO!"

Yep. It's a fact. It's almost the same comical expression of disgust as when they come up short in the middle of a--- "I can't believe I just said that: that sounded just like DAD!"

Parents, your kids learn how to handle stress, anger, despair, grief, elation and joy by spending years observing you. They get their interpersonal skills by watching how you interact with and speak to others -- and between yourselves. They learn how to fight by watching and listening to you do it. They get their laugh, their cry, their belief and disbelief by learning from yours. You don't have to teach them; they're hardwired, created to be just like you.

Same thing's true of friends whom you know and acquaintances you may never have a clue are paying any attention to you. They do, though. They sometimes pay as close attention to you as your own kids did. You are someone in whom they see value and they attach themselves for whatever reason to you. Again, you don't have to teach them. Most of the time you're clueless that they're even wired for sound -- but their intensity as they learn from you can be intimidating. If you knew it was aimed at you.

LEAD OR FOLLOW A LEADER.

What I just told you applies to you, too. We were not created to solitude. It's a human thing to seek out others who for whatever reason impress us and sift through their ideas, habits, notions, opinions, speech, and even personal mannerisms after which to pattern our own.

Since neither of us can do a thing about that, it just makes sense: understand that you have others, seen and unseen, watching and listening to you. Be, then, the kind of leader for them who will not lead them anywhere but toward personal and spiritual excellence. Understand that even when you believe you're alone, you're never off-duty. The things you do, think, imagine and say when you're alone coalesce into the things you'll do, think, imagine and say when in a crowd. Say and do it enough privately, and you'll be saying and doing it plenty in public. And often you don't even know you're doing and saying it.

This week's challenge? Remind yourself often: "Somebody's watching my lead. I need to be careful who I'm following, whose thoughts, opinions, speech and actions I'm allowing to influence my own -- because others, in turn, are using my pattern to design theirs." It's true, you know: you also develop your style of leading others by how you watch YOUR leader's style of leading you. Yes, you ultimately choose how you will lead others. But it is impossible not to spend years around someone without unconsciously taking on their attributes -- good, bad and ugly. Hey -- there's that theme song again...you hear it, too?

One of the most influential writers in my life is former UN Secretary-General and Nobel Laureate Dag Hammarskjold. He wrote: "If only I may grow: firmer, simpler, -- quieter, warmer."

Wow. That shines. I don't want brittle, unkind, sharp-edged stuff in my living or in my thoughts and words. I, too, wish to be firmer where I must take an unyielding and principled stand -- even if I must stand alone. To be simpler, without succumbing to the incessant barrage of this or that trinket or faddish whim. To be quieter and at peace amid the encrusted din of senseless noise. And to be warmer, authentic and real, even while encircled by the cold, austere balefulness of professional tolerance masquerading as love.

One more, saving the best for last. Writing to some confused, cosmopolitan Green Christ-followers, Paul just said, "Follow my example as I follow the example of Christ." Okay, yeah. That cuts through a whole rash of the nattering of theotwigs. If you can see and sense Jesus in me, follow my lead. If you can't, don't. The ultimate Leader is Jesus himself. And since He left this thing of influencing our world in all the right ways for Him, and in His place, then it just makes sense to keep it as simple as did Paul.

LEAD OR FOLLOW A LEADER. And, preferably, make sure the leader you're following follows THE Leader. That way those following YOUR lead won't be misled.

One more: What a man is contributes much more to his happiness than what he has, or how he is regarded by others. -- Arthur Schopenhauer

Be working on your 'is.' People are watching you.


I don't know about you, but I have a LOT of work to do...thanks, Dan!!
~Sarah

Name That Green Thing!

1. I live on a famous “Street”. Some people wake up with my not so pleasing personality.
2. Some people get green with me. Proverbs 14:30 says I'm “the rottenness of the
bones”.
3. I'm green and strong. Some people even say I'm “Incredible!”.
4. The Shepherd makes me lie down there according to Psalm 23:2.
5. I wasn't always green. I get my color from the wind and elements changing me and I
stand for something important.
6. I'm green and mean and Christmas has never been my favorite holiday.
7. Some people say I'm “lucky” and even carry me around with them. They should
depend more on “faith”.
8. I'm a type of Monster. Proverbs 6:34 says I am “the rage of a man”.
9. Sometimes I'm green on the outside but always in the inside. Too bad most people
associate me with dips. I'm really pretty great!
10. I enhance flavor and have a “zest” for life!
11. We are strong and rugged fighting forces. Our motto is to “Free the Oppressed”.
12. I sometimes stay in my shell and I'm a little slow but God made me just the way I am.

Happy St. Patrick's!!!

xoxo,
Sarah

I Know, I Know

I have totally been slacking. No apologies on my end -- I have been tending to a little boy with minor head trauma, a little girl with a need to burn some energy, and a cranky husband who doesn't get nearly enough sleep.

So last Saturday began on a great note and ended on a great note.

The kids and I woke up and went to GG's for the weekly morning family gathering. Gus stayed with Nan and Papa, and I took Maya home to get her ready for her first soccer game. And yes, I totally felt like a "soccer mom." :)

Maya did a GREAT job, although I'm pretty sure she had way more fun showing off her whistling skills than actually playing soccer. When people in the stands began whispering to one another, "Is somebody whistling?", "Who is that?", "Wow, someone can REALLY whistle!", I quietly thought to myself, "Yep, that's my girl." The best part -- I have it all on video. I imagine we will all be sitting in a living room somewhere having a great laugh in about 15 years. :)

Once soccer ended, we went home and enjoyed the gorgeous weather for a bit. Then, Sam & I took the monkeys to GG's house where they were going to spend the evening with their great-aunties (all 3 of them). When we left, Gabriel was a little teary-eyed, standing at the front door. It definitely tugged at my heart's strings, but I knew he would be having fun in no time, so on we went.

We enjoyed a wonderful, quiet, romantic dinner at Sweet Basil. I was having a fabulous time until I learned that Sam was eating baby calf. Seriously...I wanted to cry. I have a newfound respect for vegans, these days. :)

Okay, so we left Sweet Basil and had an hour to spare. Being the uncreative, slow-thinking people that we are, we headed to Walmart to purchase a movie, thinking we would end our evening with a funny show before bedtime. We killed an hour rather quickly, and headed back to VC for the kids.

As soon as we walked in, Maya flew up from the couch, frantically ranting, "Mom! Bubby was chasing me and fell off the porch and bumped his head and it was bleeding and he cried for a long time and he has just been sleeping and..." Gabriel was sleeping on my aunt's lap, and he had his face turned away from view. After hearing Maya, Sam immediately walked around to see the damage, and I knew by Sam's reaction that it wasn't pretty. And, I was right. Sam's reaction was much better than mine...I instantly broke into tears and questions.

Apparently, he was being his little rambunctious self, and took a dive off of the porch, landing head-first onto a concrete basket planter. Planter = 1, Gabriel = 0.

This all happened about fifteen minutes after Sam & I had dropped them off, so I felt HORRIBLY GUILTY for being out and enjoying a meal while he was sitting there in pain. After not being able to wake him enough to where he was alert and talking, I called the pediatrician who advised me to get to the E.R. We dashed to Nana's, dropped off Maya, picked up Papa, and were on our way.

The X-ray and CT scan were both clear -- with the exception of bilateral sinusitis. Praise Jesus! We arrived at home around 2:30 a.m. (thanks to Daylight Savings change), and all was well.

On the agenda for this Saturday: A soccer game and kite fighting.

Here's to a weekend with no E.R. visits: *cheers!*

xoxo,
Sarah

Remember...

...to keep the Pearson family in your prayers. Paxten would have been 2 years old today, a milestone that most of us have celebrated with our own children. Instead, Blake & Libby continue to grieve the loss of their baby girl. Don't stop praying for them...they still need you, now & in the days ahead.

~Prayer can never be in excess.~

The Last Friday

This is the only thought that bothers me...ever. Every other single memory I have is so joyful, so happy. But this one...it bothers me...sometimes.

It was at this very time on this very Friday last year when I sat on Grandma V's hospital bed and held her in my arms. It was the last time she said my name. It was the last time I saw her pretty eyes. It was the last time I heard her sweet voice. The last time I hugged her. The last time she hugged me back. Oh, if I had only known...

If I had only known, I would have never come back to work that day. If I had only known, I would have stayed there with her and held her and loved her so much more. I would have gone back up there on Saturday, as I had planned -- but didn't. I would have gone up there again on Sunday. Instead, I asked someone how she was doing, and I was told that I needed to be at home with my babies, so I didn't go. As it stands now, that is one of my biggest regrets in my life, ever.

I can vividly remember running into Dad & Gloria when I got there that Friday afternoon. Dad said, "Go see if she knows who you are," and Gloria nodded in agreement. I walked in the room and softly said, "Hey...what's going on in here?" She looked up, opened her eyes for a brief second, then squeezed them shut and began crying, "Oh, Sarah! Sarah, hold me! Hold me, Sarah!"

I wrapped my arms around her and held her sweet head with my hands. I whispered in her ear and told her everything was just fine. I calmed her down by softly humming "There's Something About That Name." Once I had her quiet, I asked, "Grandma, why are you so upset?"

She responded, "They're all coming to get me!!!" So I asked, "Who is coming to get you?"

"Everyone! They're going to take me away!!!" By this time, I was weeping because I wanted nothing more than for her to be comforted. I couldn't tell if she was in pain or simply having 'nightmares.' I hugged her tight and I said, "Grandma, nobody can harm you." She whimpered a little and faintly mumbled, "I know." I went on, trying to calm her, "You know all these years you have gone to church...and these past few years when I've had panic attacks, you always tell me I have nothing to be afraid of. If they are scaring you, tell Jesus to make them go away..."

To that, she replied, "I did. He is with them."

At that moment, the multitudes were preparing to take her Home. I believe that with all my heart. I believe she knew what was happening. She knew she was going Home, and she was ready -- but she was struggling with letting go of those she loved here.

I couldn't speak anymore because the tears were in my way. But, if I could have, I would have told her to have a blast and make sure my mansion was somewhere close to hers. Instead, I just held her. Cried with her. I told her it was time for me to go back to work, and she put a death grip on my arms and wouldn't let me move. Finally, about 20 minutes later, she quieted down and fell asleep in my arms. I kissed her head, and I was able to sneak away.

This was my goodbye with Grandma. I am forever grateful for that very special "lunch" with her. While I was able to hug her, kiss her, talk to her, sing to her, and love on her, I just wish I would have known it was the last.

Thankful Thursday

Today I'm thankful for advocacy. At some point in life, we all need advocacy, and we all act as advocates for others.

I was at my breaking point. I'd had a horrible week at work. I'd had a rough week at home. I'd had sick kids. I'd had just enough sleep to make me want to cry. I'd been stuck over 10 times in my arms and hands with a needle. I'd been fighting a week-long migraine. I was anxiously awaiting lab results. It was a Friday morning, and I walked into Mom & Dad's house around 7:30 a.m. Obviously, Dominic had no inkling of an idea that Aunt Sarah was on the verge of a meltdown, but it only took him one glance at me for his intuition to lead his next very specific, very direct, very serious command, "Nan, pray for Aunt Sarah."

A little caught off-guard, Nan questioned, as if she didn't hear, "What?"

With no hesitation, he bluntly repeated himself, "Nan, pray for Aunt Sarah. Dear Heavenly Father."

He stood and waited. Nan looked at me and grinned. Everyone in the room (Dad, Grady, Maya, Gabriel, Dom, and me) bowed their heads and (partly) closed their eyes.

Mom then said, "Well, okay!" She began praying for me as Dominic watched intently. When he felt enough had been said, he closed with, "In Jesus' name, amen."

At that moment, my anxiety was washed away, and I was ready to take on a much dreaded day. Oh, and the lab results? Perfectly fine.

Guys, I know I am not the most articulate person. I know I can be redundant, and I know you probably wish I would come up with some new topics to discuss here. But, I can't. And, I won't. If you can't tell, Dominic is a pretty special little guy, and his Aunt Sarah takes her roles as his Godmother and advocate very, very seriously.

There are many unknowns about autism. But this is what we do know:
Dominic is the only child on the autism spectrum in his school.
The special education teacher has never had a student with autism.
The school district and cooperative education professionals have decided -- 7 months into the school year -- that the Valley Center program cannot adequately meet his needs or provide the education he deserves. After lost time, much heartache, and rivers of tears, the decision has been made for Dom to go back to the Maize program (where he was last year) immediately following the week of Spring Break. He will be placed in a stuctured learning environment.

New school. New teacher. New paras. New peers. New bus. New bus driver. New schedule. New pick-up time. New get-home time. Change after change after change after change...

Pray for Dominic.
Sam, pray for Dominic.
Jerry, pray for Dominic.
Katie, pray for Dominic.
Kari, pray for Dominic.
Gloria, pray for Dominic.
Ronda, pray for Dominic.
Carly, pray for Dominic.
Chris, pray for Dominic.
Amy, pray for Dominic.
Lita, pray for Dominic.
Gertie, pray for Dominic.
Shannon, pray for Dominic.
Linda, pray for Dominic.
Teresa, pray for Dominic.
Kim, pray for Dominic.
Polly, pray for Dominic.
Dan, pray for Dominic.
Lindsey, pray for Dominic.
You, reading this, pray for Dominic.

My heart yearns for Dom to receive services at Heartspring. We know that early intervention and education are the keys to success for individuals with autism. Dominic Alexander has so much potential. The musical talent. The sense of humor. The memory skills. An awesome little boy who may not understand how to communicate but who is totally in-tune with spirituality at 7-years-old. He loves Jesus. He preaches. He prays. He has an odd connection to pastors -- known and unknown.

So much time has been wasted, trying find a "placement" for him. Please, PLEASE help us as we continue to advocate for him until he receives proper care. We need all of you! Join us at the CARE Walk on April 14th. Sponsor Team Dominic. Let's cheer him on and let Steph know we are behind her, 100%!

For those who have already donated, THANK YOU. For those who haven't, go to
http://my.heartspring.org/campaigns/1168

Be thankful for something, today.

xoxo,
Sarah

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for kid talk. These are some of the words that have been bringing smiles to my face and warmth to my heart since the days my sweet babies started yapping:

• 
  
  Narbles (marbles - MJ)


• 
  
  Vaterial (material - MJ)


• 
  
  Ridclus (ridiculous - GW...should 3-year-olds even be using this word?)


• 
  
  Cool (school - GW)

Typing these words out and reading them on a page doesn't do justice to how they truly sound 'in action.' Seriously...if you haven't met these two, you are MISSING OUT. :)

Sometimes, it's the little moments that get me through my days.

What are you thankful for, today?

~S