Have you ever been hungry? I don't mean like, "it's supper time, and I think I need to eat somethin'" hungry. I mean, have you ever really been hungry? Have you ever been SO hungry that you actually have stomach pain? Have you ever been SO hungry that strangers passing by would have mistaken you for Oscar the Grouch or Grunjetta? (yeah, sorry I'm still on a little Sesame Street high ;) ) Have you ever been SO hungry that you couldn't even eat, even after you finally got some food?
I have had this exact hunger that I'm talking about for about the past 5 months. However, my hunger hasn't been in my tummy...my hunger has been in my soul. I would even go as far as saying that I have been spiritually starving. Until Sunday. On Sunday, I felt like I had made about 20 trips through the lines at World Buffet.
Not sure if I ever really mentioned anything on here, but the pastor we had at Grace resigned towards the end of January. Not anything that we haven't been through before, but many, many people were hurt and broken. Some people left, and some people stayed. Some people were angry, some people were sad, some people were clueless, and some were just plum confused.
Well in midst of everything, I have let my soul starve. I guess you could even call me a spiritual anorexic. I made excuses to stop reading my Bible. I made excuses to not attend church every time the doors were open. I made excuses to stop socializing with Christian friends. I spiritually starved myself.
On Sunday, after several fill-in pastors who were opposite of wet & exciting, we had the privilege of listening to the Word of God, and it was presented by an incredible guest speaker. We had never heard him before, nobody knew who he was, but he was one of those people that you just felt like you had known for 20 years by the time he left.
I can't even explain what it feels like to be back on the road to spiritual maturity instead of spiritual starvation. I'm geared up for battle, as I know the "schemer" will be doing his best to trip me up; but I'm ready. I'm ready to face him head-on. I'm ready to fight until I fall flat on my face. I'm ready to stay prayed up and fed up so I can stand up.
And if I should fall...so be it...I'll be in a partying place when it's all over! But in the mean time, I will not run away. I will stand firm, be strong, and make sure that the "schemer" will never see the soles of my feet.
Big Love,
Sarah
7 comments:
you know, Sarah, I have longed to hear those words come out of your mouth for 3 years. I am exited that you have ...1, noticed the spiritual starvation and 2, you're making an effort to do something about it. i only hope that someday, God can use me to change someones life the way God used this man to change yours. I love you sarah and I can't wait to see you tonight. want to hear something disturbing......during your 6 months of spiritual starvation, you heard your husband preach at least 5 times and were still starving. two good verses to help you are joshua 1:9 and 1 corinthians 15:58.
love,
sam
it's not about you, Sam
I know, SARAH!!! ;))
I am all to familiar with the starvation mode...I am glad that you have found the nutrition you need! I will keep you in my prayers and please pray for me. Thanks for the picture, it is now on my picture board in the kitchen. You have 2 beautiful babies! We are checking the calendar to schedule a visit!!!! Miss you~
Ok, so, it's me again!!! Aren't you excited?! Hey, I have been thinking about your long comment about doing the Love Dare. This is what came to mind and I wanted to run it by you. Like it or not...that's what friends are for! (insert smiley face here) You mention that it would be a commitment to participate in the Love Dare, but I would propose that you are already committed and you did that the day you said, "I Do". Look at the definition to the word DARE~ "A dare is a risky challenge one person suggests to another, to try to get the person to prove their courage. It can also mean to confront bravely." So, the commitment is not taking part in the Dare, it's having courage enough to accept the challenge! And if I know you, I think you are usually up for that! SO, I double dog dare you... I love you!
Sarah,
This entry really spoke to me. You see, I have felt what you have felt for a long time. God spoke to me when I read this and again today as I listen to some praise & worship music. I must give God my all, including time spent with Him. I have been so guilt of neglecting this area of my life.
Thank you!
Ronda
this is really good!! I enjoy reading your blogs :0)
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