Thankful Thursday

Today I'm thankful for healthcare. I'm thankful for TPN, blood, and lipids. I'm thankful for donors. I'm thankful for people who spend years of studying and decades of administering. I'm thankful that I'm not sitting in a hospital right now with a sick baby, awaiting the results of an MRI. I'm thankful that, should something ever happen, there are people who would take excellent care of me.

What are you thankful for, today?

xoxo,

Sarah

Wise Words

Have any of you noticed how extremely difficult it is to get someone's full, undivided attention? Not only that, but if and when you get it, how in the world do you retain it - even if just for five minutes?!

In this day & age of smartphones, people are basically walking around totally and completely preoccupied, not even allowing for an opportunity to stop and smile, let alone mumble a syllable, "Hi." And eye contact...wait, what's that?

I'm not going to bash on our techy generation. I'm always texting or playing blocks or reading facebook or taking pics or downloading maps or bar scanning codes just for fun. But gosh, sometimes enough is just enough. It steals life. Literally. Even mine. I've had to put my phone/computer/game system/tv/mp3 player/movie player down and just leave it alone. Why? Because I was investing more time in an electronic device than I was in my human family. And, so are most other people in our world, today. Not anymore, not for me.

When was the last time you had a real conversation with someone? I'm not referring to small talk-- "What do you do?" "How are you?" "Where do you live?" --Anyone can be great at that. But really listening to someone WITHOUT having an alterior motive - something to sell, a reason to recruit or obtain some kind of kickback - how often do we find that anymore? Not often at all. In fact, it's a rare occurence. And when you DO find it, it's rather refreshing! :) Are you a good listener?

I have an awesome friend who is one of these rare finds. He listens. When he's with you, he's with you. He makes that bold eye contact, and every word spoken is heartfelt and sincere. You walk away feeling like you're the only person in his world. I wish I could be more like him. I wish there were more of "hims" around.

So today, I'm signing off with more chunks of goodness that I took away from Tuesdays with Morrie. I hope you let the words soak in a little bit and penetrate your soul like they have mine.

"Invest in the human family. Invest in people. Build a little community of those you love and who love you."

"In the beginning of life, when we are infants, we need others to survive. And at the end of life, when we become helpless, we need others to survive. But here's the secret: in between, we need others, as well."

"I believe in being fully present. That means you should be with the person you're with. When I'm talking to you now, I try to keep focused only on what is going on between us. I am not thinking of what's coming up this Friday. I am not thinking of a tv show or about what medications I take. I am talking to you. I am thinking about you."

xoxo,
Sarah

The Dark Side

The gray hair was really getting to me. I had to do something. And what I did...I absolutely LOVE. The best part is seeing reactions from everyone else around me - I'm finding out that you either love it or hate it. The majority hates it. The majority is also over 40 years old and boring. :)

xoxo,

Sarah

Wise Words

For those of you who haven't read "Tuesdays with Morrie," read it. It has some excellent take-away lessons in it.

Currently, the class I'm teaching is Cultural Anthropology, and I'm learning a LOT - not about what culture is, but what culture isn't. I love what Morrie says...

"Culture - don't buy into it. I don't mean you disregard every rule of your community. I don't go around naked. I don't run through red lights. The little things, I can obey. But the big things - how we think, what we value -- those you must choose yourself. You can't let anyone or any society - determine those for you."

"It's the same for women not being thin enough, or men not being rich enough. It's just what our culture would have you believe. Don't believe it."

Until next Tuesday, think on these wise words...and as always, I'm open for feedback. It's called 'leave a comment.' ;)

xoxo,
Sarah

I couldn't let Father's Day close without mentioning my best friend and the father of my own children - Sam. Maya & Gabriel are truly blessed to have such a great daddy in their lives.

I heard something today that made me chuckle: What's it take to be a great dad???...A great wife. ;)

It really made me think about what I have done to honor the father of my children. Sometimes, I get caught up in the mundane, monotonous routine of day-to-day life, and Sam probably suffers more than anyone else. The truth is, I can be a better mama because I have a great husband behind me...100% of the way.

Hey, God ~
Thank you for blessing me with an awesome husband to raise these sweet babies you have loaned me. Help me to be a source of encouragement for him. Help me to make him my priority when life gets a little cluttered. Help me remember that what he sees is important to him - and that by taking care of myself, I'm showing him that I care. Help me be affectionate, even when I don't feel like it, and help me nourish our faith. I can't wait to stand hand in hand with him in Your presence. ttyl

Sam ~ I love you. I know I don't say it nearly enough, but thank you for being an awesome dad. I am honored to be your partner in this journey of parenthood.

xoxo,
Sarah

My Dad

As most of you readers have probably learned by now, it's going to be a long post when it's regarding something important to me. I hope you're ready to read. :)

I want to mention a bit about my Dad...after all, it IS Father's Day tomorrow, and I realized I have never posted about him for this occasion. As I was thinking about what I would write, it occurred to me why I've never come up with anything to blog about for Father's Day since I created this blog 3 years ago: I can't. I simply can't. I cannot accurately articulate who my Dad is to me. Just can't do it. BUT...I'm going to give it a shot this year. Just know this: these things I'm about to write are a far, far cry from who he is. If you don't know him, or if you do know him and simply don't get to be around him, you have my deepest sympathy.

Someone once said, "There is a very real sense in which every woman's heart still belongs to Daddy." I would say that is certainly true for me. And, most who know me wouldn't argue. After all, I do spend much of my time with him - I go to his house (every day), ride to work with him (every day), talk to him at work (pretty much every day), ride home with him (every day), have supper with him (pretty much every day), walk home with him (pretty much every day), go to church with him, you get the idea, right? And, it's been that way from the very beginning...he invested time in me because I was that important to him.

The sociologist in me brings to mind that there are specific dynamics of a family that only a father can fill. My first perception of the male species came from Dad. My expectations of how a male should behave came from Dad. He held my hands when I learned how to walk. He helped me struggle through fractions and common denominators. He showed me affection and comforted me on life's roughest days - and on good days, too. He held me close and cared how I looked. I grew up in a healthy home with a man who was stable and loving. He taught me that women are to be respected, loved, and cherished. According to statistics, very few women can say the same. I am one lucky girl!

I recall the time when Steph & I went out to the garden on a hot, summer day and picked the onions. Not just a few; ALL of them. We folded our shirts out like hammocks, loaded the cute, little green stems, and transfered them inside to the bathtub. We didn't know they were still supposed to GROW. :) No matter how badly I'm sure he wanted to, he didn't beat us.

When I lost a tennis match, he didn't express disappointment or make me walk home. He encouraged me to do better the next time.

When I was little, he didn't spout words of lecture. He spouted words of love. As I've gotten older, that has changed - but most times, I have warranted those words on my own. He didn't compromise, but directed. And when needed, he was stern and firm.

Dad works. Hard. Every day. I can remember a time when he had 4 jobs. And somehow, he still made me a priority and found time to spend with me. He never took a day off - unless we were going on a fun vacation (South Dakota, Colorado, Wyoming, and Branson, to name a few). The cars always ran - - maybe not with AC, but they ran. The bills, although maybe late, got paid. The lawn stayed mowed.

Recently, I witnessed my dad during a time of EXCESSIVE responsibility - a time when EVERYONE was depending on him, including the one he has always been able to turn to - his mother. His guarded strength throughout that time is something I will never forget.

When I smell English Leather, I know he's near. When I see a honey bee, I appreciate his vivacity for life. When I hear a korny, Red Skelton joke, I go ahead and laugh. Ah, yes...laughter - I couldn't end this without mentioning the most common emotion expressed by all who encounter this man. Yes, laughter is guaranteed. Which, is probably why people swarm around him at family gatherings. They aren't stupid - they know where the fun is.

There is no need to even consider money or possessions - because the only thing that does not perish is love. Today, my dad's love spills over from me to my babies. When he comes home from work and sees those little noses pressed against the glass door, he knows he's a success.

To some, Dad hasn't done anything ferociously crazy. (Note: I said, "to some.") But he has done what every father is supposed to do - and he has done it well: be there.

Dad ~ Happy Father's Day. I love you!!!

xoxo,

Sarah

Friday Forgiveness

"Tears are okay. It's not just other people we need to forgive; we also need to forgive ourselves. For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened."

~Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

LOVE this. And, I love you, too.

Is there someone you need to forgive, today? Remember, we're all in this together. ;)

xoxo,

Sarah

Thankful Thursday

Today I'm thankful for untied ropes.

"I decided to do some traveling and since I still have 20 more pounds to lose, I thought I would go to the Grand Canyon and do some hiking, climbing and so on. At one point in the climbing, I was over a steep drop and was tied to a safety rope, while a buddy's safety rope was tied to me. It was my responsibility to help him up, since I was bigger and weighed more. I told him, "I'll hold on to you to help you up, but if you start to pull me over with you, I'm going to untie this rope." We had a good laugh about it, but I was serious...

I started thinking about that moment a few days ago. How many times are we tied to a person, people or things that are pulling us down and we won't untie the rope? For whatever reason, be it family, friends, society, or just the feeling of being obligated, trapped or that if you don't, no one else will. I have watched so many people go over a cliff with a person that they are trying to help up, it's sad. YOU MUST UNTIE THE ROPE!!!

This is your life, and you are wasting it being tied to someone who is destroying his or her opportunities and yours. If the person that you are trying to help does not know that they are worth being saved, how do you expect them to put any value on you saving them? You're not worth it to them. They can't get it! SO YOU NEED TO! Listen to me, untie the rope and don't lose yourself trying to hold on to someone who can't survive on your level. You hear me? Maybe they have gone as high as they can go. Just because you can survive on that level doesn't mean that everyone else can. Stop trying to help them, UNTIE THE ROPE! I know you may feel this is cruel, but what is more cruel is dying a death that's not your own. Letting your destiny go to hell because someone else pulled you there...are you kidding me?! That isn't God!"

Thanks, Tyler Perry - I'm thankful for you, too! ;)

xoxo,
Sarah

Weekend Recap

We began Saturday with sleeping in until 11:30! After getting only 4 hours of sleep each night throughout the week, Saturday mornings have become my only time to "catch up"...and still, it's not enough. I'm sure I don't need to point out the dark circles that now permanently live under my eyes. (Hmm...that reminds me, I might need a MaryKay fix-up, Carly! lol)

So once I woke up and realized it was almost noon, I panicked. We were scheduled to do a photo shoot in a little town out west - and we would spend a good portion of 45 minutes on the road. So I let out my typical, "Time to get up!" And I received my typical whiny, grumbling responses from the sleeping cubs. :)

We had a really fun time with Kari and her family. I've been in a funky mood lately, and I considered just staying at home. But c'mon...it was Kari, of all people. Funky mood or not, it didn't matter. If anyone can pull me out of a funk, Kari can. So what better place to go, right? ;) There's just something about spending time with best friends...it doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing, it's fun. I was even OUTSIDE - in the HEAT - and I would do it again next weekend, if I could!

After Sam took pics, Kari and I went to look at a house for sale around the corner from where she lives...oh, how I would love to buy it...so, so cute. AAAND, while we were there, guess what? Yep, she did it. She pulled me right out of my funk (even though it almost made me cry) and set me straight...she's pretty good at that. ;) Thanks, Kari! Love you and can't wait for the 25th!!!

We made some pit stops once we got back into Wichita: Gamestop, Old Navy, and Bath & Body Works. Then we headed to Brad's party over at GGV's...*sigh* It was weird, to say the least. I didn't really anticipate being overwhelmed with sadness; I have been at the trailer several times now since she has been gone. But, gosh...it was Brad's "birthday" party...you know what we did last year for Brad's birthday? We all clapped and cheered and laughed and hooped and hollered at Grandma bowling. Yes, BOWLING. You can read it for yourself - I even wrote a post about it. Wow...how quickly things change. Life is a whimsical.

So once I started getting upset and hiding my tears thru my sunglasses, I quickly told Sam I was ready to leave. Unfortunately, just picking up where I am and leaving doesn't take the sadness away. Of course, as my luck would have it, a song on the radio got the waterworks going even more when we left. Some days, it just has to come out...no matter how hard I try to suppress it. I miss her.

So after the party, we dashed over to Walmart to make the most important purchase of the day...a swimming pool!! Yay!! Maya and Gus had been patiently waiting for Mommy's payday so we could buy the pool I had promised them. The weather was actually beautiful - windy & cool - so they weren't able to swim that night. But we sure got some fun use out of it yesterday when we got home from Tanganikya! Yep...that's right...I was outside in June for TWO days in a row!! lol

Anyway, I had the best time last night, inflating the pool with the vacuum (I was impressed, Sam!), then hopping in to cool off. The best part was watching Maya and Gus have the time of their lives over something they had waited for...you know those 3 days probably seemed like years to them. So we had a great time splashing around, then it was off to Lou's birthday party. Once we got back from the party, we had supper (thanks, Sam!), and then played in the pool until, as Maya says, "the sky made the sun go to sleep."

A fun, fun weekend. Now, I'm ready to start all over again with sleeping in next Saturday. :)

xoxo,

Sarah

Friday Forgiveness

God, are You KIDDING ME?! You're telling me that I seriously can't just say it's all okay - but I have to LOVE my enemies AND DO GOOD to them?! Reeeeeeally?! *sigh* Fine, so be it. But, You're gonna have to help me with this one - I'm obviously failing the task on my own. We'll talk soon...very soon.

Hey, guys. Are you tired of my alliterating titles, yet? I hope not...it's only going to get worse. ;)

You ever found difficulty with truly forgiving someone? Now let me clarify real quickly - I'm not talking about accepting an apology. In my case, that hasn't even happened. I'm talking about being battered, bruised, beaten and broken, and fully forgiving that person. No apology. No nothing. Not even a second thought about your feelings or what words flew from their mouth or their cause of pure heartache that you are left to deal with for years.

Now, listen. I'm not talking about trying. I'm not talking about clinching your teeth and locking your jaw and passing that off as forgiveness. I'm talking about loving your enemies and doing good to them.

For 1,825 days (about 5 years), I have been healing from a series of events that unfolded in my life over a 2-year period and left me suffering from the "4B's" I mentioned above. Although time has masked the sting, the stingers remain, still walking around in this world and crossing my path every once in a while. One thing I will never forget (especially since I was on the receiving end): words are permanent. Hearts cannot be unbroken, and apologies don't retrieve intended - or unintended - words.

Just thought I would share something personal that I have been struggling with - a LOT - this week...forgiveness. I've learned it's a massive concept...at least, it is for me. For whatever reason, God has brought this to the forefront of my mind, and He is pushing me to get some things settled in my soul. Maybe it will allow me to better focus on Him, ya think?

I've chosen to centralize my confounding thoughts on Luke 7:47...I won't bore you with the text, but that verse alone tells me that my first step of forgiveness is love. And how do we do that? We give it by first receiving it. Makes sense, right? It's impossible to give something away that we haven't even received. Another friend directed me to 1 John 4:19. He loved us first. Before He did anything else, He loved you. Before He forgave me, He loved me. And I must follow His example...

I have to be kind and tenderhearted...yeah?...forgiving one another just as God has forgiven me? *sigh* That's a lot to swallow. So I'm starting with baby bites. At least I'm starting somewhere, right?

Is there someone you need to forgive? We're all in this together. I love you...don't ever forget it.
xoxo,
Sarah

Thankful Thursday

Today I'm thankful for good movies. Very little can compare to kickin' off your shoes, layin' back, and thoroughly enjoying a good flick. Some of my favs?...Ask Sam. He knows what movies I like better than EYE know what movies I like. :)

I do know that one of my very recent additions to that list of favorites is The Tourist. I LOVE that movie. Of course, that's no surprise, considering one of my many commonalities with GGV was our secret crush (okay, maybe not a secret lol) on Johnny Depp. LOVE HIM.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Stench! :) What are YOU thankful for, today???

xoxo,

Sarah

Summertime Fun

Can you believe Sam got this big of a smile on a NASTY, HOT, SUMMER DAY?!?!?! Having fun at their best friends' birthday party!

Go, Nicky, Go!

Just wanted to let everyone know that Dominic continues to inspire us with each obstacle he overcomes. He is getting SO BIG, and he is such a SWEET, sweet boy. We were pleased to learn from his IEP that he has made progress in his development; when the school year began, he was functioning at the level of 18-22 months old. His recent report revealed that he is now around the 29-month-old level - YAY!!!!!!

As always, Dom is loving life and enjoying his summer days at home with his mommy, going for walks to Nan's house, and swimming in his pool with Maya & Gus. Dom, as well as the rest of us, are super excited for the arrival of the new baby who will join us sometime around November 28th! That poor baby's name changes every day, depending on what kind of mood its "big brother" is in. :) I've heard every name in that boy's head, from Baby Balooga to Baby Sam to Baby Clopton to Baby Poop to Baby Genevieve...I must say, Baby Genevieve is really growing on Aunt Sarah! ;)

Anyway, keep praying for our handsome red-head...it's working, as ALWAYS!

xoxo,
Sarah