Friday Forgiveness

God, are You KIDDING ME?! You're telling me that I seriously can't just say it's all okay - but I have to LOVE my enemies AND DO GOOD to them?! Reeeeeeally?! *sigh* Fine, so be it. But, You're gonna have to help me with this one - I'm obviously failing the task on my own. We'll talk soon...very soon.

Hey, guys. Are you tired of my alliterating titles, yet? I hope not...it's only going to get worse. ;)

You ever found difficulty with truly forgiving someone? Now let me clarify real quickly - I'm not talking about accepting an apology. In my case, that hasn't even happened. I'm talking about being battered, bruised, beaten and broken, and fully forgiving that person. No apology. No nothing. Not even a second thought about your feelings or what words flew from their mouth or their cause of pure heartache that you are left to deal with for years.

Now, listen. I'm not talking about trying. I'm not talking about clinching your teeth and locking your jaw and passing that off as forgiveness. I'm talking about loving your enemies and doing good to them.

For 1,825 days (about 5 years), I have been healing from a series of events that unfolded in my life over a 2-year period and left me suffering from the "4B's" I mentioned above. Although time has masked the sting, the stingers remain, still walking around in this world and crossing my path every once in a while. One thing I will never forget (especially since I was on the receiving end): words are permanent. Hearts cannot be unbroken, and apologies don't retrieve intended - or unintended - words.

Just thought I would share something personal that I have been struggling with - a LOT - this week...forgiveness. I've learned it's a massive concept...at least, it is for me. For whatever reason, God has brought this to the forefront of my mind, and He is pushing me to get some things settled in my soul. Maybe it will allow me to better focus on Him, ya think?

I've chosen to centralize my confounding thoughts on Luke 7:47...I won't bore you with the text, but that verse alone tells me that my first step of forgiveness is love. And how do we do that? We give it by first receiving it. Makes sense, right? It's impossible to give something away that we haven't even received. Another friend directed me to 1 John 4:19. He loved us first. Before He did anything else, He loved you. Before He forgave me, He loved me. And I must follow His example...

I have to be kind and tenderhearted...yeah?...forgiving one another just as God has forgiven me? *sigh* That's a lot to swallow. So I'm starting with baby bites. At least I'm starting somewhere, right?

Is there someone you need to forgive? We're all in this together. I love you...don't ever forget it.
xoxo,
Sarah