Thankful Thursday (on Friday)

Today I'm thankful for Mrs. Graversen. I don't know much about her...her ways, habits, and faith are unknown to me. But I do know that she is a very blessed person. She gets to spend more time with my sweet girl than I do. And I have to trust that God will lead her to do her very best with my child.

These past few days, I have found myself clinging to whatever comforting scripture and music is within reach. My baby is in school...all day long...and I'm a worrier. So you can imagine what that means...the stress-induced anxiety, panic attacks, and ulcers that have been surfacing over the past few weeks are making a comfy home in my head, my nerves, and my stomach.

I'm so thankful for Chris Tomlin. Talk about some talent...he's got it. I think I have listened to this one about 88 times today, and I absolutely LOVE it. Take a listen on Youtube...maybe you will, too.

All the way my Savior leads me
Who have I to ask beside
How could I doubt His tender mercy
Who thru life has been my Guide?

All the way my Savior leads me
And cheers each winding path I tread
Gives me grace for every trial
Feeds me with the living bread

You lead me and keep me from falling
You carry me close to Your heart
And surely Your goodness and mercy
Will follow me

All the way my Savior leads me
Oh the fullness of His love
Oh the sureness of His promise
In the triumph of His blood

When my spirit clothed immortal
Wings its flight to realms of day
This my song thru endless ages
Jesus lead me all the way
Jesus lead me all the way!

You lead me and keep me from falling
You carry me close to Your heart
And surely Your goodness and mercy
Will follow me

All the way my Savior leads me...


*big, deep, relaxing breath* Everything's good...He's got this.
~Sarah

Wednesday Weigh In (on Friday)

Week 2 (yes, I started over): - 2 lbs...yay!!!!!!!!!!!!
Week 1 (sorry, no post last week): -4 lbs...yay!!!!!!

Enough about that. On to a more important thing...Maya LOVED her first day of kindergarten! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not sure why I expected anything else...just because EYE experienced separation anxiety and was a screaming, bawling kindergartner who clung to my mom and made the teacher peel me away didn't mean that Maya would act that way. Thank You, Jesus! :)

Maya had a green day on her behavior chart (level 3) -- which indicates it was a "good" day. Maya is already working really, really hard to get 5 "superstar" days, which is the 5th level. Her payoff is a pink beanie baby lion named Gwowls. Gwowls entered our lives at my baby shower as a gift to Maya, but he has since disappeared. She's determined to work for it.

Ready to see this sweet school girl? Here we go...

 So grateful Grady is able to walk with her!

 I see a sad little brother in the background... :(

xoxo,
Sarah

Maya Jane's First Day of Kindergarten

I'm not really sure what to title this post. My feelings have never been so mixed as they are today. This is the closest I have ever been to this thing called "bittersweet." The more I am sad, the more I am happy. And the more I am happy, the more I am sad. Yes, I'm Crazy. It's nice to meet you. :)

Maya Jane started all-day kindergarten, today. *sigh* How is it even possible? I feel like jumping with excitement and vomiting all at the same time.

I guess at least I can say that the days leading up to today have been a success. Maya went school shopping with Nennie and Mommy. She ended up with some cute outfits from Target, a Hello Kitty backpack, and a Minnie Mouse lunch pack. Thursday night she met her teacher. She was stoked to learn they shared a birthday together! And, I'm not sure what it was, but something about that fact gave me a hint of comfort. I am convinced it was just another gentle way of God telling me, "Hey, she's mine, and I've got this. Don't worry."

This past weekend, she spent the night with Nana & Papa on Friday night, and had her final, before-kindergarten sleepover at Bub's house on Saturday night. We have been going to bed early, and she has been cooperative all along the way. Yesterday, she practiced walking to school with Grady, and Sam followed behind. Today...she was a champ. And, I will proudly say: so was I. :) Granted, I'm sure it had a lot to do with the fact that I wasn't even there...lol. So yes, go ahead and call me a cheater. I left Daddy by himself to watch her walk into her next chapter of life. And I think it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. She was happy, and I'm...okay.  I'm afraid that wouldn't be the case if I would have been there. So instead, I will look at the clock at work every 2 minutes and wonder what she's doing at the moment. I can't wait to talk to her this afternoon and see her this evening! 

Yep. My cup runneth over...even when it hurts just a little...or maybe a lot. 

xoxo,
Sarah 

TGIF!

Yay! Friday has arrived! This has been one crazy week, starting off on a rough Monday with Maya getting her school vaccinations. I cannot believe school starts next month...this summer has flown! Of course, I'm perfectly okay with that...it means the Fall Festival and COOL WEATHER are right around the corner!!! :)

xoxo,
Sarah

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for the time that we have had Claudia & Camile with us. It has been very stressful and very challenging, but I believe that every year, when these weeks are all over, every single one of us has grown in some way or another. I might not understand it or see it right away, but I always learn something about myself that I didn't realize before. Good or bad, it helps me improve in certain areas of life.

I am thankful for the fun days we have had...the zoo, the mall, the parks, Rock River Rapids, Exploration Place, family cookouts...we have truly had some amazing outings, and for that, I am most grateful. As much as I am thankful for the time we have had as a family of six, I am even more thankful to be returning to a family of four in the coming week. Every summer during this time, I find myself thinking, "Man, this is so hard. I totally thought this would be easier than last year." And I always prove myself to be a fool for thinking that. :)

It's hard on the girls. They are over 1,000 miles away from home for 5 weeks. Away from Mommy. Away from everything and everyone they know. Away from their mom's home cooking. Away from their "normal" life. Feeling guilty for leaving their other little brother. Listening to their mom tell them how crazily she misses them every night. I honestly don't know how they do it. We stayed in Kansas City for 3 1/2 days, and at the end of Day 3, I was almost in tears, getting homesick, ready to get back to my house -- and I am 30 years old. I can't even imagine what this is like for them.

It's hard on Maya & Gus. They anxiously wait 335 days to see their 'sissies.' When they finally arrive, Maya & Gus quickly become irritated with having to share their already cramped-up bedroom with 2 more people...and their toys...and their movie times...and their Mommy & Daddy...and their Nana & Papa. Yet, they form a close bond with the girls over the month -- playing, teasing, laughing, learning, arguing, crying, caring, loving -- only to say goodbye for another 335 days. It is emotionally taxing on their little hearts.

It's hard on Sam and me. Sam handles all of this way better than I do -- and he probably hurts the most. He knows his time is limited. And those 30 days fly by faster than any other time of the year. During that time, I get to be the evil, ugly stepmom and the nagging wife because Sam doesn't want to spend the only month he has with them by constantly disciplining. Neither do I. Not only does this cause the girls to dislike me -- and give them a false sense of the type of person I am, but it also wreaks havoc on our marriage. In addition, when the twins leave, I get to spend the next month correcting misbehavior of Maya & Gus because they have picked up on bad habits from the older two. I try to take everything in stride, but it takes a toll on my nerves. I can usually close my eyes and breathe through the frustration, but let me be completely honest for a minute: There are some times when I would seriously like to sit down with Sam & their mom in the same room and bash their heads together. :)  

Speaking of their mom, it's hard on her, too. I realize that. If I was in her situation, I would probably be tagging along with my rugrats to whichever state they were going to. There is no way I would ever trust anyone with my babies -- especially taking them 1,000 miles away. Nope. Wouldn't happen. So yeah, it's hard on her, and I get that.

It's hard on my parents, especially my mom. The original plan was to have the girls stay home during the day since Sam would be there. But, they kindly asked to go to "Nana's" house every day with Maya & Gus...of course, Nana said that was fine. But it obviously hurts me to see her completely exhausted at the end of every day, with nerves as frayed as mine. I couldn't do it. And you know that ugly, evil stepmom feeling I have? Nana has it too...because she is the person who has to make everyone behave all day long. Again, different rules than Claudia & Camile are used to at home, different ways of communication, different ways of eating...everything is different. Oh, and Papa? Well, he probably does the best with all of the kids -- until his personal bubble is invaded. As long as he can keep all four kids from sitting on his lap at the same time, he is usually great with the whole situation. But who would expect anything different, right? I mean, after all, he's Papa!  

I wish there was some way to make this easier on everyone. I wish we could have more time with them. I wish we could go see them more often throughout the year. I wish we had more similarities in our ways of life so we wouldn't have so many clashes. I wish...I wish...I wish..." The fact of the matter is that there is no way to make it easier on everyone. It is what it is. God has us in these specific places during these specific times for very specific reasons. And for that, we must be thankful.

xoxo,

Sarah

Can You Say F-R-E-E?!

Thanks to a great suggestion from a friend, Sam & I took the kids to the Hallmark Visitor's Center -- the headquarters for Hallmark Cards. In addition to that, I 'googled' for some cheap entertainment in the area, and I found Kaleidoscope and the Deanna Rose Children's Farm -- both of which turned out to be amazing, fun places for the kids AND adults...yay! :) I was seriously impressed with all three places, which, as you may guess from the title, were FREE!!!

 First, we ventured to Kaleidoscope. You get to go in 40-minute sessions...the perfect amount of time to get through all of the exhibits.

 LOL! Silly Bubby.

Next came Hallmark. The kids were given Passports. At each station, they stamped the according location on their passport. They also watched the process of making Hallmark cards, and they even got to make their own gift bows! (Gus snuck through the line again to make a second one -- for Papa, of course.)

Finally, we made it to the Children's Farm. There, the kids had a blast hanging out in an old schoolhouse, petting sweet calves -- one of which was born on May 5 and named Maya, and bottle-feeding the goats.

Can you make out a name with these letters? *Hint: They are in no particular order or direction on the chalkboard.* :)

These little stinkers snatched the bottle right out of her hand...she was in disbelief!!!

A Day with Great Friends