My Thoughts Are In Neutral

Sharing a "2nd cup of coffee" with you today...until my own thoughts make their way back into drive. Love you, Dan - keeping Nate & the rest of you in our prayers.


Good morning, friend. Well, at least it was morning when I started.

How about a refill of some Newman's Own Extra Bold?

It's hard to see. It reads, "What we think we become."

You know that's true. Hold that thought for a few minutes while we visit over some great coffee.

I found myself sliding into pastor/chaplain role, answering his question as I've done to distraught surviving spouses across many years: "Do only what is necessary; just the things that have to be done. Find comfort in the familiar. Leave the rest of it alone until you are ready for it - and don't let anybody, even me, pressure you into doing anything more until YOU are ready. And if anyone does try to push you, refer them to me."

I tried for hours this morning to generate something beyond self that would lift and encourage you. I was quiet. Quiet time was special - but still too quiet. Being a man who refuses to stay 'under the circumstances' any longer than it takes to kick 'em off and get out from under them, my request turned into a chorus of praise I often sing with a fabulously talented group of musicians and singers...yeah, once including her----

Draw me close to You

Never let me go

I lay it all down again

To hear you say that I'm Your friend

You are my desire

No one else will do

'Cause nothing else could take Your place

To feel the warmth of Your embrace

Help me find the way

Bring me back to You

You're all I want

You're all I've ever needed

You're all I want

Help me know You are near

I understand what many of you are doing: you're singing along with me and more than one of you is wiping away tears, too. See, ours isn't the only family grieving. While we're wiping away tears and swallowing grief-stunned raw emotions, we're reaching out to others who are working and walking through their own Valleys. To that end, I'd like to offer a resource from my files.

This may seem a bit airy, too chirpy for somebody wounded by death's Fence between Here and There. Let me share it with you first, then I'll explain why I include it here.

Life Is An Experience, So...

by William Arthur Ward

• 
  
  Sing a new song; dance a new step; take a new path.


• 
  
  Think a new thought; accept a new responsibility; memorize a new poem.


• 
  
  Try a new recipe; plan a new adventure; entertain a new idea.


• 
  
  Learn a new language; blaze a new trail; enjoy a new experience.


• 
  
  Make a new friend; read a new book; see a new movie.


• 
  
  Climb a new hill; scale a new mountain; launch a new career.


• 
  
  Find new purpose; fill a new need; light a new lamp.


• 
  
  Exercise a new strength; grasp a new truth; practice a new awareness.


• 
  
  Add a new dimension; encourage a new growth; affirm a new beginning.


• 
  
  Discover a new answer; envision a new image; conceive a new system.


• 
  
  Dream a new dream; chart a new course; build a new life.


• 
  
  Open a new door; explore a new possibility; capture a new vision.


• 
  
  Start a new chapter; seek a new challenge; express a new confidence.


• 
  
  Write a new plan; turn a new page; follow a new direction.


• 
  
  Watch a new program; be a new person; radiate a new enthusiasm.

"Wait. Didn't you just say NOT to do anything I didn't just have to do? I can't do all that stuff..."

I know. I can't, either. This week's challenge is to accept that just maybe you're trying to cram too much into your life right now. It's possible you have a whole lot of well-meaning folks pushing all sorts of ideas and agendas and things to do into your life until you're ready to lash out.

You don't want to do that. They sure don't want you to do that.

You know I don't give advice. I do ask questions, and offer a suggestion or two. The one I'm offering right now is the same one I'm taking myself up on: The Elephant Rule. How do you eat an elephant? All together, now - especially if you're like me and in no mood for this childish junk: "ONE BITE AT A TIME!"

The first thing is to sing a new song. I'm not quite there, yet, either--so I went with one I already know that says where my spirit is right now. The lyrics are above...

But the day will come when you feel like maybe smiling again. Your humor won't be forced any more just to make other people happy (and don't you wish they'd just STOP this, "Oooh, come on and smile. You know there's a smile in there..." Or, "Well, God just loves you and is working all things for your good. Blessings are on their way...") Hey, Ace. Somebody I love just died suddenly and my world's at a screeching, tire-smoking halt for awhile, here. Show a little common sense, will ya? Could a little reality kick in, here?

There. I said it for you. But healing will come, joy will eventually work its way out and the Son will shine through the emotional overcast again. In other words, you'll eventually get your fill of feeling numb and empty and alone. When it does, please know: everyone who's where she is today, would if they could, encourage you to get to work on the rest of that list.

Life here really is to be experienced, not to sit and watch. I'll tell you while I'm telling me: don't let grief sideline you any longer than it needs to.

I love you, and I believe in you."